There I was, 65 year old straight girl, me in a writer's forum giving advice to young women who were struggling to write a sex scene in a novel.

My advice was:

Don't. :-)

Write as suits YOU. Never compare yourself with others - write in YOUR voice. Sex might sell but so do apples.

For example in my writing: Mind you you can practice and get better at it if you want to but seriously - I don't write about vampires, nor make romance more than a side plot and I'll never write graphic nor deviant sex.

My characters have sex, but the sex is not the reason for my novels, so why tell my reader how they did it...that's their business.

i am happy with the four fade in and out scenes in my novel and that is how I write sex.

It will not make me a better writer if I were to put graphic sex where graphic sex doesn't belong in an otherwise good story.

If you are a writer, consider this when writing a sex scene.:
Writing sex scenes can be a daunting task of balancing hot passion with believability. The sex should have a purpose in the story (unless it's a voyeuristic look into your protagonist's bedroom romps). Think about the characters involved, what does this encounter between the sheets mean for them?