 The evil, :-) leg of lamb that triggered the stress overlaod, exhaustion, attack. I have decided to talk more often and more openly, in my blogs about dementia care as it is a big part of my life and a big part of my blogging, is as a creative outlet for an artist who put aside my carer at her peak and making sure I have other creative releases to replace that. I can hope that the journey I share may help others as I plan it to be as positive a journey as we can make itJ. Yesterday Reg and I had a wonderful day meeting friends that only I knew and Reg was fine, helpful, and happy, enjoyed the dayJ. My friends had very young daughters and they too were happy and a joy to be near...until they became overtired. Then it took a lot of parenting skill and powers of observation, as they were not expressing in words that a casual observer, (me), could understand, what their needs where, but the clever and attuned mums were able to decipher. These clever mums knew at what moment, their children’s needs suddenly needed to be nurtured, the children were getting tired, and we all know how a very young child's smiles will turn to a grizzles if we don’t identify the signals fast and slip back into carer mode. This is what I have been learning to do. As a carer, I am mostly on observer duty, most of the time, even allowing my man out of my sight when I feel he is well and in familiar environments (the park with his dog), and just needing to be there for him, when the child/man becomes overtired. When he is overtired, physically or mentally, he cannot express to me what is distressing him, because he is not sure himself, I need to watch and prevent this degree of exhaustion setting in. Yesterday, it was not our visit to meet friends it was my adding the overload to his brain, when I bought a side of lamb that he was sure would not fit our oven, ordered a smart phone including an internet connection package that will only cost me an extra $5. month. I bought myself a $20 sale priced pink sun hat to wear with my good pink clothes when he could not understand why I will not wear a red one I already own with them. Then I mentioned the next meet up with friends on our trip and I went out of my free hour phone call time into my pay for calls time, while ordering my phone through Telstra. All those things may sound like ‘life’, to anyone else, but try involving your toddler in all those events and they would no doubt, go into overload. I broke the carer rules and threw him into high stress exhaustion. It was a total emotional and physical melt down for him. I did all I could to settle his mind, and get him to bed after dinner reassured that life was going to be simple again.. I woke up this morning to the sound of the morning TV program and an advertorial about something like acnepril reviews, and Reg sitting there as happy as can be, doing familiar routine, having his breakfast watching TV then he took the dog for a walk. I asked him how he was this morning and he said, (surprised too, as he could also remember his become so unwell last night), that he was fine (sounding very happy), this morning. He beamed with pleasure. J. I think that my friends from yesterday will be his friends too now and I learned from them that dementia care at my husband’s stage of frontal lobe dementia, is just like caring for a toddler. My new understanding of that fact may make it easier to try to explain to people, ‘what I am able to do and what I am not able to do as my man is no longer Peter Pan, the man boy, he is the man toddler now’. My friends helped me recognise this change and I found the understanding comforting. It seems normal and easy enough to manage. I’ve had toddlers before; I should have recognised toddler stage as different from ill’. The toddler similarity is all there, unsteady gait, loss of control of function, gagging on food and mumbled speech, when exhausted and absolutely charming, loving and a joy to be around when physically and mentally, rested. I just need to explain and think ‘toddler’, and I ‘have it’, and understand, what to do, how to plan our life from now, for now and how to explain this condition and what engagements I can and cannot accept, to others and why I may need to change arrangements at a moments notice. His is rested today, back with the familiar, comfortable and my man/toddler is happy, as is the mum/wife. I have a new, understanding of the balance I need to keep in our life, his needs and my own.  Familliar souroundings while out meeting friends yesterday, a park with his dog and a view, made for a beautiful stress free, enjoyable day :-) Comments Comments are closed. |
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